Love and War, Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Pollys phone went off again, and once again it was Jess. She didn't want to talk to her, it would be far to awkward between the two, and even though it had been a few days Polly just wasn't ready for that awkward chat. Besides she had to worry about her baby now, she was five months pregnant. It was only another four months until it would be born. Polly felt her stomach rumble. "She annoying you too baby?" Polly asked her stomach, she was on her laptop writing an email to her mother, she would be returning next week "Or maybe you're just hungry. Let's check what there is to eat" Polly stood up and walked into the kitchen, the fridge didn't have any food and neither did any of the cupboards. "hhhmmm, maybe just an apple will do for now, I better shop for more food later." Polly felt a little crazy talking to her stomach, even though she knew that inside was her and Matts child she felt a little silly. Polly returned back to her seat with the apple in her mouth. Hey Mum I can't wait to see you again, these three months have been long and hard. Bubs is looking forward to you being home as well, I have no real clue what sort of things I should be doing and none of the books are really helping mum. Ok well this is just a short email but I can't wait to see you on Wednesday. Love Polly

Love and War, Chapter 14

Chapter 14 Jess and Polly became really close friends over the next month, they did pretty well everything together and Jess was a massive help to Polly with the baby, she was there for ultrasounds to buy some clothes and items for the baby and they helped each other with their homework, life seemed to be sweet for the two friends. "Hey...Polly." Jess asked one day as they walked home from school, it was a beautiful sunny day and all seemed calm and happy. "Yeah, what is it Jess?" Jess looked down at the ground, not sure if she should say what she was about to say. "Well I really like someone, I know that they wont like me back though, I'm not sure what to do." Polly thought for a second, woundering who it was. "Well you should still tell them that you like them, you never know Jess, maybe they like you back." "Yeah there is really no chance of that. So are you still coming over to my place today?" "Yeah I am." Later on that night Polly arrived at Jessicas place for yet another movie night, Polly loved Jess' place. Jess had two little twin brothers and an older sister, the twin brothers were only six and the older sister was nineteen. There was always something going on at Jess' place, Jess' mum had left the family a month after the twins were born, she said it had been for a better life and ever since their father had taken care of the four kids, and had done a great job at that. Polly always woundered what it would have been like to be a big sister, or even just a little sister, Jess said that it wasn't that great but Polly always thought of it as a dream coming true, she hated being an only child. The girls watched a series of movies, a mix of comedy, horror and romance and by time they got to their final movie the girls had been through three bowls of popcorn and it was 3am. "So Jess, who was the person you like?" Polly asked as the finaly movie finished. "Um....I would rather not say." "Do I know them?" "Yeah very well actually." Polly started really thinking. "Is it Marco?" "No." "Simon?" "No." "Is it a guy?" "No." Polly stopped, it wasn't a guy, and she knew them very well as Jess had said. "Polly...it's you." Polly didn't do anything, she loved Jess, just not in that way, not ever in that way.

Love and War, Chapter 13

Chapter 13 "Ow get it out of my eyes!" Polly thought as she woke up with a bright light shinning on her, had she died? Was this what heavan was like? "Polly...Polly." She heard a faint voice in the distant, it sounded like, like Jessica, had she died too? "Polly!" Jess said which fully got Polly out of her halusination. "I'm not dead, am I Jess?" Jess looked at Polly, her eyes full of anger. " No you're not dead, thats what you wanted though wasn't it! To die, and leave your mother with out a child, me with out a friend, your baby with out the chance of life and Matt with out you. Did you not think of any of that???" Jess asked, she had no clue about what had happened to Matt. "Yes I did think of that, Matt is the reason I did this Jess...he's dead." Pollys face got slightly sweeter. " Oh my god Polly I'm so sorry, how did he...you know?" Polly looked down, a tear in her eye, tears had become all to familiar to Pollys eyes. "They don't know, he just went missing and is thought of to be dead." Jess' face got brighter and happier, Polly wounded why on earth she was so happy to hear that. "You mean, there is still a chance that he is alive, they haven't found the body after all, they have nothing to suggest that he is." Polly didn't think like Jess, Polly thought of the bad side, it was Jess who thought of the good things. "I guess your right, but I don't want to think like that only for him to never return back." Suddenly Polly remembered about something. "How is my baby, is my baby alright?" "Yup, your daughters a little surviver you know that, why did you want to give her life up, and yours?" Polly looked down, she was now ashamed of what she had done. "I just wanted to be with Matt again, I wasn't thinking straight I..." Jess regretted even asking Polly because she seen that Polly was still upset about it and so she quickly changed the subject. Two days later Polly was cleared to go home, things were well physically, mentally thogh Polly might as well have been dead, and she almost was, how could she be so selfish? Polly slowely opened the door, expecting to see a empty bottle of rum and pills and a bunch of brooken things spread across the house. But there was nothing, it was all nice and tidy. Straight away Polly knew that it was Jess who had cleaned up for her. Polly was thankfull to have such a great friend like Jess.

Love and War, Chapter 12

Chapter 12 Polly looked over the letter a hundred times, maybe it wasn't real, it was all just a bad bad dream. That was exactly what it would have been....in a perfect world. Polly knew that this wasn't a perfect world though, it was far from it and now that perfect world Polly had pictured was now just a tiny little dot barely seen with the naked eye. Polly sat on the ground and cried, she didn't care that the wood would hurt her knees, Matt was dead. The love of her life was dead. In a sudden burst of outrage Polly stood up and just started smashing things, the chair, the lamp, the flower vase, a photo, another photo, if it was in her sight it was going to be destroyed. What was the point in living now, Polly was sure that there was no point to in life now that Matt was gone, not even this baby was worth living for, not is Matt couldn't be there to be it's father. Polly looked at some pills and some rum and in a moment of weakness and pain she decided that it was what she had to do, she had to take them. One by one, gulp by gulp the rum and pills went down, Polly had never been more certain about doing something then she was about doing this. It was a must. Finally Polly stopped, the quatar full rum was now empty and the remaning pills from the bottle were now gone, soon Polly would be gone as well, and she didn't care. Slowly the pills and rum started taking effect, she was lossing her sense of vision and then she just collapsed and could feel her self slowly slipping away from life.